Hoping

Happy Tuesday, I don’t normally write before work but as I received a new troubled student yesterday, I woke with extreme anxiety. I am hoping by expressing my thoughts and concerns here I will be less likely to complain at my job, a place that has been a real comfort as of late. The student arrived well after breakfast and upon meeting him I could tell he seemed special. Confirmed when he refused to enter our classroom and would not respond to his mother’s directions. This is when she said the IEP process has been started for him. His day was full of redirection and taking all my tiny animals back out of his pockets twice. Keeping him with the group was nearly impossible because he would go explore the other parts of the room. I had to remind him of losing all the fun in my classroom. It was enough to get him settled several times but within a few moments, he was gone again. Tried giving him a special job to babysit the classroom stuffed animal Hedgy. He loved doing this which was a comfort because I may need to rely on this at some point. He did not thankfully have any tantrums except during one redirection when he growled at me. The part I am most concerned about is our safety. Casually yesterday after the 800th time of being asked to stay away from my desk he found one of my pushpins in the little paperclip drawer and told me he liked sharp things and when I asked why he said because they hurt people. I have been attacked by students in the past left with bruising and emotional trauma. This child reminds me of one I had years ago and during one of her escapades she removed a tack from the bulletin board and then removed the metal from around the top of a pencil to secure a tac to the pencil. She made a stabbing motion at me when I tried to remove the weapon from her hand and started yelling that she could now reach me better to stab me and calling me a “fat thing”. Divinely the year before last our paths crossed again when she unexpectedly showed up at our school picking up a younger sibling. It had been about five or six years since I taught her. She ended up going to a self-contained classroom, something we don’t have at our school. She came up to me and apologized for how naughty and mean she had been. This gives me hope for my new little friend. If you believe in anything if you could please ask it to protect my little classroom. Thanks kindly in advance.

Love,

April